"Bello, wake up. I have to tell you something, something that can't wait...”
Silence. I was asleep deeply and placidly. The night which was coming to an end to let the day start was memorable. I was not even fully aware of how that man would affect the rest of my days. I kept sleeping, naked, covered only by the sheet which had been soaked hours before in the sex we had consumed. Unforgettable. We made love as two strangers that pretended lifelong love to each other. I felt the whole weight of his soul over my body. He felt completely the same. I loved him in every blast that my smile draw in his eyes. He felt the situation so deeply that he wrapped his arms around my waist, literally and emotionally.
“My flight is leaving in a few hours,” he whispered in my ear, as we laid in bed, he looking at me, noticing every wrinkle of my body, though I did not make any noise or grimace that would make him think I was awake. Indeed, I was not. I slept with the confidence of having lived the most wonderful night I have ever had in my life. I was floating on reality. “Madrid will always be the city of my dreams,” he went on to tell me, “I really enjoy living here but I need a change of scenery. And just when I make the decision to change my life, you break into my life. We have spent just a few hours together: yesterday lots of butterflies flew over the cafe where we talked about topics as diverse as crisis, politics, sex, music, traveling, and the world... about life: yours and mine. And tonight we spent many hours talking, sitting on the couch, devouring each other with our eyes, cautiously. It was then when I could not hold back the urge to kiss you so I touched my finger to your lips and kiss you immediately afterwards. Your lips urged me so much, and I knew, I could not live the rest of my life without your kisses. Then we came into my room. At the time, I looked at you, how you were taking your clothes off while my heart raced. I understood everything: you are the one and only, with your beauty and innocence, with that light that shines in you, with the truth that so few people have. You are who I need to count on to answer so many unanswered questions. I would like to discover you and see what will grow between us. I would like to go back in time for a moment and stay here in Madrid to give us a chance. Our meeting would not may be so special, who knows? I don't, but I'm here. You sleep like a baby, naked, full of purity, releasing life and peace... I would like to stop time and live forever in this bed just to see you waking up at every sunrise, away from the world, away from the past, and into our future.”
He stopped talking to take a breath and went on to finish his confession, while I lay huddled, still asleep, to avoid the soft air coming through the window.
“We have all the time in the world to live, to know new places, new bodies, to get lost, but we won't be alone anymore now that we're in the same world. I will come back someday to live the rest of my life with you, to love you as you deserve, to take care of your heart. I will come back to tell you, not just to say what I feel, to show you that making love will no longer seem to matter. But I feel that already, though it makes me look crazy. I...”
“I will miss you, so much.”
The gentle morning breeze of the early summer woke me up very early. I was alone in bed, completely alone. I heard his steps around the apartment. I guessed he was packing his suitcase. Then I remembered every single instant of the night before, so I sighed deeply and felt something strange, a certain sadness. He was going to go away forever and there was something inside me that didn't want to face that. For a moment, I thought about making him stay, even thinking of going to the airport, to shamelessly beg him to keep what had been born between us alive.
But I didn't.
I didn't do any of that.
I just decided to take a piece of a green paper that I had in my wallet and write:
"Meanwhile I look at and listen to the beauty of this amazing world. It looks more beautiful now I know that you are in it. Enjoy life, every look, every smile. Enjoy the sun, the moon, and the stars all that shine bright. Enjoy the music and the silences. Enjoy every place and its beauty... See you soon. One hug and one kiss. Fer"
I dressed up and left the room to give him the best of the morning. He was almost finished packing. We talked some more: what time the flight would leave, when his work would begin, etc. I joked and told him that I waited for him to come back to Madrid soon because he owed me a night drinking tequila. Then he went to get something in the living room, and I took the opportunity to leave the note in the color of hope in his wallet. He returned to the room and then it was the time to say goodbye. The unwanted farewell. We melted in an infinite hug and I choked on my tears so much that I remained unconscious for a few seconds. I stayed there, floating, embracing his body, embracing his life. We kissed each other with the intention not to forget the other one and I looked deeply into his eyes.
I left the apartment, closing the door, and I cried all the way home. When I got into my bed, I continued to cry, disconsolate.
I must have fallen asleep between sobs. I woke up with a start. It was 11.00 a.m. on the last day of the month of June.
His plane had taken off.
All those pictures are taken in my hometown San Sebastián de los Reyes, which is close to Madrid, on June 12th 2013.